Everyone desires to be loved; would you agree?  Loved by friends and family, and by that someone you choose to share your life with. A deeply connected, honest, open, sexy, sensual, empowering, loving relationship, with that someone who is always in your corner, always there to enjoy a moment with, or to inspire you when you are down. I know so many fantastic, brilliant, beautiful women who wonder why they are single when they have so much love to give. 

Feng Shui tells us, that to attract great love or maintain a great relationship, we have to be brave enough to stay in the feminine energy.  Which, believe it or, means we have to STOP DOING – we have to STOP GIVING!  Many of these wonderful single women are also overachievers, brilliant at what they do, and over-give of themselves in hopes of finding that great love.

I know, I know it goes against all of the dating blogs that say you should be online dating, speed dating, working with a matchmaker, wearing high heels to Home Depot, and lingering in the paint department. Don’t forget to pack a lunch to refuel as you scope out golf courses, beer festivals, and baseball games in your mini skirt and halter top. You better start cleansing, dieting, or starving yourself cause only skinny people find love (I’ve done it all, trying to be that person I think he wants, instead of just being me, and after starving myself it often leads me to binge-ing cause, well, I’m starving.)

All of that energy is focused on the OUTWARD presence. And the Feng Shui Bagua inspires us to GO WITHIN.  “How does the ancient practice of Feng Shui say that?” I hear you asking!

Look at the diagram above, which is the trigram of the Relationship gua (the back right of the home). This image is called KUN and it represents the feminine energy in “relationships.”  It’s made up of three broken lines, or three YIN lines. The lines are broken, which represents RECEIVING. Thus, feminine energy is about receiving, not doing. It’s the EARTH energy that receives all its nourishment from the sun and rain.  We as women should try to open to receive the nourishment the heart, soul, and body may need. Because of the space in between each line, there is space to receive all that energy. Even sexually, that which the feminine receives. 

Alternatively, the image for Helpful People (lower bottom right of the home), is made up of three YANG lines, the masculine energy. These are solid lines, which represent the dynamic outward-giving energy of the Universe.  The masculine energy gives to the feminine and brings all things to life. Sexually the masculine energy gives and the feminine receives.   

As single women or even a woman in a long-time relationship that isn’t feeling so wonderful anymore, we can get super busy trying to make things happen.  We are so busy there is no room for the masculine energy to enter the feminine.  And when the masculine shows up we might miss it, or we won’t have any space to receive it because we’re so tired.

So for those of us who identify as the feminine, Feng Shui inspires us to stop all the doing and go inward. Get to know yourself again.  What do you enjoy, what do you prefer, what do you believe, what are you curious about, what brings you the most joy, are you your best in the early morning, late at night, or mid-day? What do you want, what foods do you like, where do like to vacation, what are your interests and passions? 

When you know these things about yourself, and embrace them, then the only thing that radiates from you is your self-knowing, your self-possession, your self-joy! So instead of radiating need, want, loneliness, heartache, or desire, you’ll shine shine shine your empowered knowing of self. Then watch how you will attract your new partner, or re-attract your spouse, from your being rather than with a short skirt and a diet. 

Equally so, the YANG energy of the Helpful People gua inspires the masculine person in the relationship to GIVE. Yang energy is all about outward moving energy, the dynamic energy. Give to your partner, treat her like a QUEEN.  Find out who she is, give her your honesty and curiosity, give her your time and attention, give her your love and intention and watch how she opens up to receive you. (BTW, giving of yourself won’t cost you a dime!)