Do You Have The Courage To Love The Moment?
My friend Edward was recently in Brazil on a spiritual pilgrimage and during a 3-4 hr. meditation (I don’t know how he did it either), he says, “I was watching an inner movie that concluded with the words in capital letters: COURAGE TO LOVE. “
It does indeed take courage to love, especially ourselves on Valentine’s Day when we are single. For all of us single people out there, yes, me included, loving ourselves when that elusive relationship floats away like a butterfly again and again and again can be exhausting. I’m not one of those who would say “You complete me” or even “You had me at hello” … but being single can sometimes feel like a very important part of life is missing. To love and be loved, I think, might be the most important experience of a lifetime.
It can be heart wrenching to deal with those endless old thoughts, “I’m not loveable, what’s wrong with me, if only I had a flatter belly, if only I were younger, if only I had white teeth like a movie star … if if if if if if only I were ______________ fill in the blank.” Those thoughts can easily spiral down into despair… out of which self love can’t even begin to grow.
It takes the most courage to live and love THIS moment, even if we aren’t in relationship, even if we have those extra 10 pounds or are the age we are. It is what is! You are who you are! Can you love yourself just the way you are? How can we better live in this moment and surrender to this moment where all of life energy is?
So much of our energy is projected into what we wish we had, and that is what causes great suffering. Edward is reading “If The Buddha Dated” by Charlotte Kasl. In it she mentions the Buddhist tenet, “You suffer when you struggle against what is.” I tend to lean to toward the Buddhist philosophy and listen to a beautiful teacher Adyashanti who said, “All suffering is the ego saying what is, isn’t good enough.” We might have moments where life is okay, when we’re on vacation, when we have that new sports car or that new outfit… Adyashanti would say, “That’s just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.” A temporary moment of happiness by some outside source … but we’re still going down!!
So if we believe that being single is not a good thing (which is promulgated by everything in our culture brainwashing us to believe it’s true) we suffer. But if being single is where you are, like me, and we have the courage to love ourselves ANYWAY, in this moment, a perfect moment in the perfect Universe… well then being single must be perfect. We might not know why, I can’t figure it out for the life of me… I’m sure it has something to do with truly getting to the place of pure, unconditional self love. I think Deepak Chopra said something similar, “All the workings of the Universe brought your current experience into being, and you don’t want to try and fight that much energy!” What is just is, and what is, is perfect.
When we are in the state of loving every moment, just think what kind of fabulous rich alive beautiful energy we are putting out! Now be careful, let’s not love the moment thinking that if I do, I’ll then attract my soul mate, cause then you’re setting up a desired outcome. And if that desired outcome doesn’t happen, then you suffer again. With sincerity of heart, be in the moment with the pep in your step, a flip in your hair, a smirk on the lips and an appreciation of everything around you. Oooo la la… you’re gorgeous!!
I have implemented every Feng Shui cure I can think of to attract a great love, which is probably why this issue is so “in my face” right now. Feng Shui cures for relationship don’t mean he/she will show up next week. They do however bring up everything, and I mean EVERYTHING for you to look at for healing. I’m committed to do the courageous work in loving myself, and am prepared to swoosh my skirt and flip my hair. How about you?
Written through and exchange of emails with my friend Edward.